Me (cheering): You go Mum, you go Mum!
Mum: I'm going!
I’ve considered being a vegan, but then again, i am already a vagitarian, so that’ll do.
If you ever feel embarrassed just remember that I once knocked down a shelf of lube in a sex shop in front of a whole load of people and then had to stack it all again without help.
My sister literally just came into the kitchen, stared at the oven and whispered “imagine if you cooked someone..”
Lesbian punishment: Do it or I won’t cut my nails